An Open Letter to Vanessa Bryant (RIP #24)
Dear Vanessa,
My heart has been so grieved for you and your girls these past few weeks, and I’ve struggled to put into words my thoughts and my desire to offer comfort and hope. As a father of three (two are girls…ages six and eight), and being married to my wife for nearly 17 years (we were wed on Kobe’s birthday in 2003), I can’t fathom leaving them without a father or a husband.
I don’t pretend to understand your hurt, your grief, or the pain you are going through. You’ve endured this incredible loss with such courage and class. Our family has been praying for you and yours since that tragic day.
It’s amazing that an orange ball has united so many of us to Number 24 and Number 2…as well as to one another. I met your husband once at the university I attended, UCSB. He was gracious with a photo, which I have hanging in my office, and we chatted hoops for a minute. I went on to play ball overseas for a time. I watched with admiration your husband play the game that connected us for the next 20 years — long after my, and most people’s, basketball careers are over. Kobe didn’t know me (I only had one brief encounter with him), but just like so many, we felt connected and part of the Kobe Bryant family.
Most people are talking about what Kobe was able to accomplish on the court and about his pursuit of greatness, forever known as “The Mamba Mentality.” I love that they are discussing his all-important role as a husband and a #girldad. And with good reason — we saw Kobe, you, and the kids as a model family, pursuing excellence and achieving every dream. But I have also been thinking about how the sudden, shocking loss of Kobe, your precious Gigi, and everyone on that helicopter has caused many to stop and think about their own mortality. This has the potential to impact beyond the here and now, because, with the sobering topic of mortality, comes the wonderful topic of eternity. You can’t have one without the other. As a Christ follower and a sports pastor, and I have had several longtime friends reach out to me after Kobe’s death with the question of “What happens when I die?” When someone like your husband passes away at a young age, it makes everyone—black, white, Latino, Asian, male, or female—pause and consider the brevity of this life and whether or not Heaven is real.
I believe there is life after death, and that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us. He said in John 14:1-3, “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” By all accounts, your husband knew Jesus. Imagine Kobe and Gigi in Heaven, perhaps joyfully helping Jesus prepare a place for you a long while from now. After all, Heaven is the eternal destiny of everyone who believes (John 3:16). Jesus Christ gives us the hope that we will one day be reunited with Him and our precious loved ones. In meantime, He promises that He will never leave or forsake you here on this earth (Deuteronomy 31:8), and that He will give you peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
The mortality of life, the purpose of life, and the pursuit of everything in between is something only God can direct and bless. Your husband has raised awareness about life — living it to the fullest, overcoming obstacles, working hard, and growing as a human being. We are thankful he and Gigi shared their gifts with us. I pray that many people are led to the Lord through them, and that the promise of eternity comforts your heart as you press on as a mom, sister, friend, and role model for God’s glory. God bless you.
